This blog is my attempt at coming to grips with myself, my mind, and mental illness in general. A self-examination, so to speak.

*I’m not a native English-speaker, so please bear with me!

11 thoughts on “About

  1. You could’ve fooled me (re: ‘I’m not a native English-speaker’). I’m doing something similar over on my blog. After more than 20 years of struggling, I took that first step towards recovery, quite recently, and am chronicalling the process.
    Anyhoo … I look forward to reading what you’ve got to share in the future ;o)

  2. Just popped back to take a look at your bio (curious about the personality disorder you recently mentioned) and I realized we have similar academic interests. I’ve studied a fair bit of the subjects you wrote of. Was in Comp Lit in undergrad, studied film and gender studies more in grad school, as a German Studies student.

    Make the most of your Ivory Tower years; they were the best years of my life … so far!

    • regarding my ‘ivory tower years’: unfortunately, I frequently feel like I’m wasting important time and my youth. so much I’d like to do, so many books I think I should read…. but lack of motivation is a big problem for me. and I tend to put myself under additional pressure because of that.

      oh, you did German studies! how come? I’m a native German speaker and I always find it surprising if people learn and/or study German….

  3. A native-German speaker? Wow! Es freut mich dich kennen zu lernen. Ich koennte ‘damals’ fliessendes Deutch sprechen, aber zu viel Zeit ist schon vorbei gegangen zeitdem ich es gelesen, gesprochen, gehoert habe. Aber ich hab’s gern. Vielleicht werde ich noch einmal die Gelegenheit haben, in Deutschland zu wohnen. Das waere geil.

    In undergrad, my program was actually a double major: Comp Lit and Modern Languages. I studied German and Spanish. I liked German and focused on it, so eventually I was studying German Lit in both my Comp Lit classes and advanced German classes. After undergrad, before going to Chicago to do my MA, I went to Germany for six weeks. Lived in Kassel. Then, at UIC in Chicago, I got the departmental award to spend my second year studying in Berlin at Humboldt. I love Berlin, although I think it’s changed a lot since I was there in ’02/’03. And I had to write my Master’s thesis while taking courses at Humboldt, so the pressure was intense. I was also taking advanced German classes there, too.

    In Chicago, I studied a lot about communicative language teaching, as well, and taught first-year German for a year, Much later on, I’d do training to become an ESL teacher, and now, sadly, because of the ups and (mostly) downs of my mental illness over the years, I find myself working as an Assistant Language Teacher in Japanese junior high schools, elementary schools and kindergartens. When I’m lucky, I use my training to teach classes myself. But when I’m unlucky, I’m stuck in the corner as a ‘token foreigner’, standing silently, waiting to be told to repeat a few basic words from the textbook, which a CD or PC can do. It’s extremely insulting to my intelligence and depth of experience in life, and causes a lot of anxiety in me, but Depressed people know all about how far you can fall in life.

    My hope is that I stop falling this year and begin to rebuild. And my advice to you would be: You have a whole lifetime ahead of you to do and read whatever you like, but you only have those few years to really learn all that you can at the university, so apply yourself. Get hungry for that knowledge. You’re interested in film studies, gender studies, Lit … Take the courses you’re most interested in and devour the material. There’s so much more I have to learn, but if I was in university, with the chance to just focus on studies, I’d be able to do so much more than I can now with my busy life.


  4. Ibirella, thank you so much for following my blog, you don’t realise how encouraging that is. I look forward to reading your blogs and seeing your art. Is that your picture at the top of this page/ It is cool. Take care. Lisa

  5. Pingback: Katie Jane Vickers

  6. Hello! I’ve just stumbled across your blog after you liked one of my posts a while ago, and I have to say that your art work & your posts on here are wonderful, and really interesting to me.

    I’ve just completed a year studying fine art, but have decided to transfer to a course which teaches art therapy – healing through art. I am really interested in how you speak so openly about your mental illness, and in the relationship between your artwork and your mental health. It would be great if we could have some conversations about this in the coming months! (I start my course in September).

    As a side note, besides art, my other passion is for languages, and in particular German which I studied until my A levels, so the fact that you are a native German speaker makes you even more fascinating to me! haha 🙂

    I will definitely be looking forward to your future posts! 🙂


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